Round two, ding!

Here I sit fat and happy in the afterglow of Thanksgiving. My son's dad was just ill and in the hospital, so at least there was an excuse for why he did not show up. My kids were happy and loud and I am a little glad round one of the vacations are over. Now just to think about Christmas gets me a little down, but, after all it's not about the gift giving anyway. I hope that these lean times teaches the kids that the true meaning of Christmas is to remember the birth of our savior Jesus. I can not think of the last time I did not hear "I want, I want!" coming from the mouths of my babies. I will continue to try and teach them right! Love to all!!

Once Upon a Time...

                                                                  My sweet son age 13!

Once upon a time I could trust him. What happened to his love for his precious son? My son took the day off school today to go be with his father, and here it is 1:00 pm and he is still a no-show! The ex was in the hospital and hasn't seen our boy for 4 weeks now. I am officially pissed! I married this person when I was just barely 18. I had no idea he would be bipolar or that I would become a mom just 11 months later. When we were young everything seemed so perfect. He showered that boy with love! He played with him, took him places, gave him little presents. Then came the illness. If only I had been smart (I would tell myself) I would have gone to college instead; known that something was wrong with his personality. We divorced when my baby was almost three. He still continued to see him, but I could see the mood changes more prevalent now. The ex remarried (as did I) and he still seemed to be a good father. Then "it" happened about 2 years ago. His wife left him, and the downward spiral gripped him. He would disappear for days at a time, come back, apologize, cry, beg. I can't let this go on much longer, what can I do? My son is 13 now and this is just so unfair! I wish things were different, but I can't trust him and he won't stay on his meds...

Finding a job

8 days in-- nothing yet! Maybe I have been out of the loop for too long, ha! Anyway, my brother who just moved here from Oklahoma brought his girlfriend with him. She's a fun person whom I really enjoy. She found a job just like that. One person called and said she was over qualified-- must be nice... Me on the other hand having no real qualifications may take a little longer! I have not done a thing all summer and fall except the usual mommy duties cooking, cleaning, chauffeur, and coaching my daughter's cheer team. I am hoping one of the childcare positions I applied for calls today! That would be the ideal. I am really happy to have such a wonderful family. I thank God for them everyday. I know he will take care of me, but I can't help getting a little anxious with Christmas around the corner and four kids to feed. I love all the creative blogs I have seen on here. You guys are great!